Bruised masculinity can backfire in 2 ways
When men withdraw from their partners in an attempt to restore their masculinity, two negative outcomes can occur, report researchers.
It’s bad for the relationship, and it doesn’t really make others see them as more masculine, the researchers find.
“We found that young men who received false feedback suggesting they were ‘more feminine than average’ reacted defensively by self-isolating and building metaphorical walls between themselves and their actual or potential romantic partners,” says Alyssa Croft, assistant professor in the University of Arizona psychology department, and coauthor of the study with graduate student Ciara Atkinson and lead study author Veronica Lamarche of the University of Essex.
“When we feel threatened, our relationships are typically strengthened as we seek security from the one we love,” Lamarche says. “But it seems that when men’s masculinity feels precarious, they may attempt to restore it by withdrawing from a relationship that could otherwise provide care and support.
“Not only could this harm the well-being of their relationship and directly affect their romantic partner, but our studies also suggest this tactic may not be an effective strategy to restore masculinity in the eyes of others.”
In the first part of the study, which appears in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science, the researchers tested how threats to masculinity affected relationship interdependence—the extent to which partners mutually depend on and influence one another.
To do this, they gave nearly 200 men a fake “masculinity score,” ostensibly based on their responses to general knowledge questions. Each man was told how they had allegedly performed compared with other men in their country.
The men then answered questions about their relationships, including how close and committed they felt to their partner and how important their relationship was to them compared with other aspects of their lives, such as work, friends, and religion.
Those who had received the lowest masculinity score reported the least commitment to their relationship.
“Importantly, rigid definitions of masculinity restrict men from expressing vulnerable emotions and decrease their reliance on others,” Atkinson says. “Previous research shows that threats to masculinity can lead men to react with anger, physical violence, and sexism. Our findings show how these threats negatively impact a new domain: romantic relationships.
“On the surface, cognitively distancing oneself from a relationship partner may seem like an effective strategy to restore threatened masculinity, but this response may not actually be effective at restoring masculinity in the eyes of others.”
The researchers then asked nearly 600 participants to make evaluations about other men they did not know—how confident, likeable, masculine, or feminine they were, how committed they were to relationships, and the likelihood of their marriage succeeding—based on limited information. When these strangers had to evaluate a man who scored low in masculinity on the general knowledge test, learning that he expressed less commitment to his romantic partner did not improve their evaluations of his masculinity.
“The more interdependent people are, the closer they feel, the more important their partners are to them, and the more committed they are to the relationship persisting. Interdependence, therefore, signals the health and viability of a relationship,” Lamarche says.
“In our studies, men compensated for feedback that undermined their masculinity by espousing less interdependence and commitment in their relationships, even though this did not help restore their masculinity in the eyes of others after a public masculinity threat.”
The researchers say this is the first step in a new line of work that will investigate the consequences of masculinity threats in romantic relationships. In future studies, the team will explore how these processes might play out over time by tracking the interactions and experiences of couples in daily life.